Professor
Sung Yung
Academic writing
David Lozano
The event that changed my life
The event that changed my life a lot is to have the first child. In 1987 everything changed. My life changed
when I knew a notice “I was going to be a father” . In my twenties, I was a very carefree arts
student. I had panic and I was bored. However I needed to be thoughtful. As me That was
going to be my life and destiny of my son? I
took prompt decisions. First , I was to get a steady job, but this
was very difficult for my lack experience. So I opened a little business of
making frames for other artist. Second, I wedded with Esperanza,
she is my current wife. Third I told my parents, I was going to have a child.
Finally I got a warmer and friendly apartment. Today I do not regret my
decision, My son is a 26 year old, he is a science political. He accompanied by
his brother Antonio whom was 18 years old. My life is properly organized and I
can exercise my career as an artist and teacher. Until the event changing forever my life.
David, we discussed your paragraph in class last Friday. This is a very interesting life story! This is a good paragraph, and I like your topic sentence.
ReplyDeleteYour concluding sentence does not sound strong enough since it is short and has some grammatical errors. You need to make the concluding sentence very clear. For example, it can be "Until now, this event has influenced many aspects of my life." This is an example.
Overall, well-done!